I Let My Moustache Do The Talking

The role of the moustache is far underrated. It adds the sense of a suave, gentlemanly (or if you care to indulge: gentlewomanly) attitude or demeanor. Examples range from Communist dictators (Stalin, Castro) to Hollywood male superstars (Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck) to CMU professors (Huebner[s]) to fictional literary Indian characters (you know that Saleem Sinai from Salman Rushdie’s Midnight’s Children had to have something to keep that abnormally large and telepathic nose warm). One cannot help but think of the members of Man Man who sport a diverse collection of moustaches, which fits wholly with their esthetic of European carnivalesque flavour and locker-room chanting. Indeed in “Push the Eagle’s Stomach” there is a repeated chant of “moustache, moustache, moustache” complete with videogame-esque “power-ups” (phrase stolen from Pitchfork’s review of Six Demon Bag). This author has attempted many unsuccessful moustache endeavors, though it has been said that hereditably its full potential will not be reached until his early 30’s. This is timed perfectly with this author’s proposition of the revival of the moustache. The revival of the moustache: a time comparable with the 70’s esthetic of rockstardom. Think of Almost Famous’s Russell Hammond. Think of how (stereotypically) cool he looks without even uttering his first line. Somewhere along the line, dating from the 80’s til the present, the moustache has lost its place in society, relegated somewhere between glam rock and those shoes with fish in the soles. The clichéd “only time will tell” is necessary to use as the revival of the moustache looms, drawing ever nearer.