Jacques Jacques Jacques Jacques Jacques

Jacques One: Good! You have acted and recounted faithfully. Will you wait for us a little, outside the door?
Mender of Roads: Very willingly, Jacques.

Messiuers Defarge exits stage left with the Mender of Roads following. The three Jacques stand in a tight group whispering. Messiuers Defarge re-enters.

Jacques One: (demanding) What do you say, Jacques, to be registered?
Defarge: To be registered, as doomed to destruction.
Jacques Three: (croaking) Magnificent!
Jacques One: The chateau and all the race?
Defarge: The chateau and all the race. Extermination.
Jacques Three: (croaking) Magnificent!...Is this rustic to be sent back soon? I hope so. He is very simple; is he not a little dangerous?
Defarge: He knows nothing. at least nothing more than would easily elevate himself to a gallows of the same height. I will take care of him, and set him on his road. He wishes to see the fine world--the King, the Queen, and Court; let him see them on Sunday.
Jacques Three: What! Is it a good sign, that he wishes to see Royalty and Nobility?
Defarge: Jacques, judiciously show a cat milk, if you wish her to thirst for it. Judiciously show a dog his natural prey, if you wish him to bring it down one day.

All are quiet as Defarge brings the Mender of Roads back in. The Mender of Roads lies down on a few burlap sacks and silently falls asleep. The three Jacques and Defarge leave stage left, in silence.

CURTAIN FALLS!

Tickle Vultures

Look there's a bat, flying out of that tree
with wings like spiders, off into the sky
Can't seem to articulate the gaze
that with which I see

Jellybeans scattered on the floor
feeble hands to grasp,
antiquarian's gloves, a workman's callous
Try the television, fuzz fuzz fuzz
Fuzzybear

Hiding underneath the basement
in the old oak house
Trying to escape inside

I Let My Moustache Do The Talking

The role of the moustache is far underrated. It adds the sense of a suave, gentlemanly (or if you care to indulge: gentlewomanly) attitude or demeanor. Examples range from Communist dictators (Stalin, Castro) to Hollywood male superstars (Burt Reynolds, Tom Selleck) to CMU professors (Huebner[s]) to fictional literary Indian characters (you know that Saleem Sinai from Salman Rushdie’s Midnight’s Children had to have something to keep that abnormally large and telepathic nose warm). One cannot help but think of the members of Man Man who sport a diverse collection of moustaches, which fits wholly with their esthetic of European carnivalesque flavour and locker-room chanting. Indeed in “Push the Eagle’s Stomach” there is a repeated chant of “moustache, moustache, moustache” complete with videogame-esque “power-ups” (phrase stolen from Pitchfork’s review of Six Demon Bag). This author has attempted many unsuccessful moustache endeavors, though it has been said that hereditably its full potential will not be reached until his early 30’s. This is timed perfectly with this author’s proposition of the revival of the moustache. The revival of the moustache: a time comparable with the 70’s esthetic of rockstardom. Think of Almost Famous’s Russell Hammond. Think of how (stereotypically) cool he looks without even uttering his first line. Somewhere along the line, dating from the 80’s til the present, the moustache has lost its place in society, relegated somewhere between glam rock and those shoes with fish in the soles. The clichéd “only time will tell” is necessary to use as the revival of the moustache looms, drawing ever nearer.

the creative process

Let us have ourselves a little freakout

Shall we?

You, take off all your clothes and start figuring out the sexuality of our friends

You, put on every piece of clothing you have and make yourself impenetrable

You, begin to fall in love with everyone you meet,

But always leave when they begin to fall in love with you.

You, shit on the bathroom floor

Me? I’ll put my pen to this paper and move it to our music

Dum dee dum da la.

another blank

I have a notebook
that I carry around with
me most everywhere.

There’s nothing written
in it except my name, on
the inside cover.

i have five more at
home, just like it blank, empty
except for my name.

A Strange Occurence

Well

Huh

Wow

What?

Would you look at that

Popped right off

What?

No blood either

Strange

What?

His Penis

My Penis

Oh

Does it hurt?

Not really

A bit creepy

I guess so

No wound

It’s like it was supposed to happen

Jeez, I hope not

Yeah

It could happen to us

Ugh

Guys, I have a question

Yes?

What is it?

What am I?

What do you mean?

Am I still a guy?

I don’t know

I’d say not

But you’re not a girl

That’s definitely true

Oh, I know what you are

What?

What?

Shit, I can’t think of the word

It’ll come

Unlike you dude, ever again

That was a bit harsh

Sorry, but you set me up

Someone should pick it up

The penis?

Yeah

It’s yours dude

Yeah, I’m not touching it

Who know where it’s been

Androgynies!

Come again? Don’t say it

That’s what you are now

Don’t follow

Neither male nor female

Yeah, that sounds like you

About sums it up

Sorry man. Woops, sorry... I mean… I don’t know

Sorry for your loss

I’m sure things will work out

We’ll stand by you

Never fear, we’ll always be near!

Lame dude, lame

Sorry

Two People at a Party

They noticed each other from across the room at the same time. They had seen each other around, so to each the face of the other was familiar, but neither knew the others name. That didn't matter to either that moment though. they saw in each other something familiar. this was one of those rare moments when you are able to see something significant in another person with only a brief glance.
She got up from her spot on the couch between the happy stoned pseudo hippy and the drunken couple making out. With this action he also got up and started to make his way through the partiers in the living room. she was closest to the door and exited first. he saw her manuevor a short couple who were having to yell at each other to talk. After this her path took her downstairs where the people began to thin out to nothing. he followed her and descended into the dimly lit basement.
it took a couple of seconds for his eyes to become acclimated to the new light. As soon as he was able to he saw her standing next to the empty beer fridge. He went up to her, grabbed a hold of her shoulders and looked into her eyes, searching. she in turn put her hand to the back of his head and pulled him forward. their lips touched and nothing happened. their mouths moved in unison, their tounges searched each other's mouths and still nothing. tears began to well up in both sets of eyes and started to fall. where their cheeks touched the tears mixed and became one. they opened their eyes and looked into each other.